To Know Wisdom

I'm not worried about what my future will bring. I'm not even worried about the happenstance waiting around the corner plotting to steal my heart. I'm 27, hard to believe. I still find myself at times thinking "being 26 is..." As my thought trails off realizing with a hint of shock that I'm actually three years away from turning thirty. What does it feel like? I ask my friend who just turned 30. Is it knowing you are no longer allowed to joke with those of 25 years or less? Or is it some kind of "I-know-better-than-to-do-that" type of feeling? I am 27 years old now and I have yet to know exactly what that entails for I still feel (and act according to most) like I'm nowhere past my 21st birthday. Yet, I have sensed within me a mental ability to no longer care about social conventions. Truly, I have never embraced my peculiarities-mental, physical and emotional- more than I do now. I can finally try out the bathing suit I really like and think "I will buy it" regardless of the norm that only slender girls look "good" in a two piece bathing suit. I can finally understand that there's a fine line between letting your feelings take control of you and you taking control of your feelings. I can choose whether or not I want to be sad about something. I can choose how long I will cry over the loss of my most recent relationship and how much time I will put into reminiscing about the guy I once thought I loved. I can't say for sure if I have finally mastered the art of self confidence, all I can say is I have never been more in control of my own self than I am now. Is that what it means to be 27 going down the road into your 30's? To finally realize that who you are is the best you can be because there is just no one else exactly like you? I don't know. All I know is that I can finally gloat-without feeling pretentious- about the immense number of people that I know truly love me due to the fact that no matter how bad of a friend, daughter, sister or girlfriend I may be sometimes, these people still look for me over and over again seeking my company, my voice, my laughter and blunt jokes. I've been seriously (or jokingly?) proposed marriage by 3 guys thus far, one Hispanic, one African American and one American with a hint of Italian. Am I going to pretend I know why? No, because regardless of how I may see myself I know I have flaws. Yet, despite all that, I can say I am truly loved, and spoiled at that.  Maturity does not come wrapped up in every birthday. It comes from knowing yourself. I forget where I read this, I think it was the book of proverbs- "to know yourself is to know wisdom" (note: Proverbs verse actually says "to acquire wisdom is to love yourself")